The Robo-Barman has, and is in, a new setting. Having began to stand, and being paid to stand in a room with alcohol merely to see what happens, in now a third country, I think it's time to perceive the practice as no longer being a job, but rather a lifestyle. The fact that I still like to go into other rooms, yet alternatively having to pay rather than be paid for the experience, would seem to back this up. Therefore, this lifestyle has 'embiggened' certain characteristics in me, such as prejudice, distrust, irritability and, of course, cynicism.
(There are of course good characteristics that often show themselves...if you give me a while I'll think of...some.)
The Robo-Barman had a maintenance day today and, although not really physically tired, my wee head needs a rest. I have had to learn at least TEN different persons names in last 6 weeks or so. This, for me, is immensely difficult and can only normally be mastered with the help of considerable concentration and varying types of computer spreadsheets. Therefore, my mental yoga is simply to take myself out, normally...actually regularly, to a bar, to have a drink, and to watch the world go by. I did this tonight. I went to a bar as a normal human being. But, I am a barman, in a bar, thus I can no longer be normal.
Having needed to stabilise my rampant addiction to Guinness I went across town to a bar to try out a recommendation. After being pleasantly surprised it was decided that I was hungry, so I went in search of a bar endowing my most favourite world in hospitality in Australia: "Meal-Deal". I still regularly weep at the food and drink prices Down Under...that will never change. So, $12 pizza and pot (half-pint)?... Done. I went in, ordered, found a paper, started drinking my cheap (but free) beer and wished very much to be left to my own devices.
Midway through the first paragraph of the first article I began to do the natural barman thing of pretending to be concentrated on something, but rather actually ascertaining as to what is around you. Who is there, Why are they there, With whom are they there, What are they talking about there and Which of them, ah...there could be potentially funny, boring, attractive, unattractive, aggressive, intelligent, vindictive, welcoming, psychotic, Elvis, or even a life mate. The '5 Ws' of the barman's curiousity.
Sitting in a corner, there were two groups of people in front of me, one of which seemed, at first glance, to all be colleagues out after work. The other was, categorically, a group of student girls.
Utilising that most potent of bar-work nuances, I began to eavesdrop on the work-colleagues group. They were obviously working in I.T; meaning I lost unequivocal interest in their 'convo' with light-speed...that is, until I overheard the utterance 'social gathering'. They had all stood up, to wish a departing member goodbye, and, to 'thank' him 'for attending the social gathering'. For me, the words 'Piss Off' and 'Social Gathering' should be beside each other. It was embarrassingly awkward... I wanted to break it up, have it immediately stopped. I looked forlornly to the SECURITY for intervention, none came. Just imagine their day, I thought...It must be planned out like one of my name-spreadsheets..."Get up", "Go to work", "Feed", "Go to colleague-based social gathering". I remember thinking that there was no way I could attend a 'social gathering' with any of them. "What an utterly boring shower of whatevers", I deduced.
So, what's the craic with the students then? Well, this brought up personal queries. "Mmmm, whyyyyyy did you not concentrate on the young student, ah, females...first, why...why didn't you do that"? That will be put down to maturity/age, whichever looks better. After a while, however, my self doubt lowered because they were obviously idiots. I couldn't understand them, they seemed to throw more food over them than in them, my ears were on strike and they were transfixed on the TV, which was playing 'chart' music videos...Well, I say 'videos', it might have been the same one. Now. My feelings towards 'chart' music are numerous, let's just say I don't like it. That person who went on stage wearing a mankini on that music awards show thing (the one I recently heard being described by an Aussie colleague as a 'paedo-trap) ...(like someone falling over, not nice, but funny). Well these girls loved this noise made by this person. "Oh, I so hope I wasn't like that as a student", I thought.
So, there they were, two groups pf people I had decided I didn't like. Ha! I thought. I know a thing or four at this stage. Good, that I'm by myself and not sitting with those people, I could---n't sit with those people, how can the staff cope with such Eejits, how aaaawful, I thought.
Then, between mouthfuls, one of the students shouts over to one of the dreary people. "How's your night been"?...A conversation ensued, first between the two, then between the two groups, until a full scale 'social gathering' ensued. Now. I will paraphrase the next bit, because it's fairly demoralising, and because my fingers hurt. Basically, they all got on like a house on fire. The term 'social gathering' turned out to be an in-joke, a term their boss used, and they repeated, sarcastically, before he left. The students were imitating other people in their class, they were actually quite normal. They expressed a like in travel...Good.
Then, to end, one member of one group turns to a member of the other and says, "God, Mr Lonely Pint over there keeps looking over at us"! That would be me then.
"Prejudice, distrust, irritability and cynicism": check.
Lesson learned.
If I can ever remember the positive bar characteristics, then I'll try doing them...instead...
...whatever they are.
